Selfie sabotage

She clicks “post” and watches closely, she wonders how many people will like her latest selfie? 10 mins go by, 30 mins, 1 hour, 2 hours and the self talk in her head begins…

“I only have 20 likes, maybe I should have posted it a little later in the day when more of my “friends” will be scrolling through their news feeds. Will they notice me, will they think I look pretty in this photo?  It took me a long time to get it “just right”. I must have taken like 50 photos of myself before I found the right one.

Kennedy Kiera 6-22-15-12B

 “Don’t let mean words from an insecure soul blind you from the truth of your beauty. You are beautiful by design…just the way you are.” -Dr Steve Maraboli

Ugh, it’s tomorrow morning already, and I still only have 29 likes.  “What is wrong with me”? These are the thoughts running through her mind, ” I am not pretty enough, no one likes my selfie”.   It was a perfect hair day, and my makeup looked awesome.  She continues to check her news feed, waiting, wondering, continuing to think “I must not be pretty” or “no one likes me”.  She notices that her friend had over 200 likes on her latest selfie.  She checks out her other friends page and notices the same thing.  She continues to criticize herself, the voices in her head keep telling her she is not pretty enough.

This is a common scenario among our young girls these days.  Value and self worth based on the number of likes they get or the types of comments on their posts. They look for affirmation through the use of social media which is hard to tell if it is real or manipulated these days.  Middle school through high school, and even some elementary girls as the smart phone and social media reaches our kids younger and younger.  I photograph many young woman and girls and I hear it all the time. Comments about things they do not like about their appearance.  I work hard to minimize the areas they are uncomfortable with, but hearing it makes me wonder, why?

Why is it so hard for girls and women to love themselves just as they are? To appreciate all of their features and traits. To not have to compare themselves to other girls and women that they see in the media.  And what will it be like for the even younger generations to come? Will they be basing their appearance and self worth on what others write on social media?   I believe we can come together and empower young girls together, as a community.  We can lift them up, give them self confidence and the tools they need to look past the thoughts that the media sometimes plants in their heads.


Wang Angela 7-22-15-42B

I remember as a young girl, focusing on the parts of my face that I didn’t like. I thought I had a big forehead and I hated my curly hair, etc etc.   I imagine I heard someone say make reference to that, or I based it on a photo of someone I thought was more perfect than I.  What is it that makes us see ourselves a certain way, and not feel good enough or pretty enough? Why can’t girls and women just be themselves and love and accept themselves the way they are and stop measuring themselves through the number of “likes” and comments written on their online walls?


Kraus Allison 7-22-14-81B

“Beauty doesn’t live in your skin.  Beauty lives in the lining of your heart.”   -Ann Voscamp


We are all here on this earth to be ourselves, to be who God made us to be, not to be like someone else. You are uniquely you and no one else can be you.

Be the best YOU that you can be, and let the others be the best that they can be.

Comparison and competition have evil roots.  They will lead to self sabotage and self doubt every time.

You are beautiful,  do not let the media define you with “likes”,  as a measure of your beauty.


Mulvey Rosey 11-16-15-166B

Bowman Emily 10-1-15-78-2B

Wood Lanie 8-20-15-139B

“Beauty isn’t about having a pretty face, it is about having a pretty mind, a pretty heart, and most importantly a beautiful soul.”


P.S. Share with all the beautiful girls in your life.

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